Purpose of Form

R.I.P. Irvin Kershner

2010-11-29T17:05:00.001-05:00

In my opinion (and those of many others), "The Empire Strikes Back" is the greatest of all Star Wars films. Many of that movie's elements are what made Star Wars so enduring and endearing: Han's cavalier bravado, having the guts to pursue a princess even if he was a "scoundrel"; Leia's headstrong defiance, trying to deny any romantic feelings for Han; the appearance of Yoda and the attachment I had for the character---which even today still amazes me (it was just a puppet, but damned if I didn't love the dude!); Luke's difficulties learning to believe the power of the Force, and Yoda's immense strength in his tiny form; the Imperial March, and all the incredible musical themes; Lando Calrissian, the first intergalactic entrepreneur and bastard (who redeemed himself, thankfully); Threepio getting torn apart, and Chewie finding him; the classic Luke vs Vader fight in Cloud City and Vader's confession; Boba Fett; the carbonite freezing scene, the look on Leia's face, and Chewie's despairing roar; there are even more than just these that I can name. ESB took Star Wars to a deeper level than even the first movie did, a more emotionally impactful level.

Irvin Kershner, the Director of ESB, died at his home in L.A. at the age of 87 today

"I like to fill up the frame with the characters' faces. There's nothing more interesting than the landscape of the human face."

- Irvin Kershner

Thinking of Death

2010-09-20T11:11:00.002-04:00

Dom. John Chapman’s letter dated 25 May 1919 to a Benedictine nun, from pp.138ff. of his Spiritual Letters.

Palazzo San Calisto,
Trastevere,
Roma.
May 25, 1919.

Dear Dame …

Before I had received your letter, I had naturally heard the sad
news.

You ask why you are afraid of death. It is only human. St. Teresa
describes her mental and even bodily sufferings, caused by her
violent desire to die and to “be with Christ”. And yet, she says, she
still had the human fear of death. And our Lord chose to suffer this
fear of death for our sakes. The separation of body and soul is a
wrench. On the other hand, I know quite well what you mean about
the feeling,—when you try to realise death—that there is nothing
beyond.

The reason is plainly because one cannot imagine it. One tries to
imagine a pure spiritual imagination of the soul without the body;
and naturally one imagines a blank. And then one feels:—“There is
no life after death”; and then one says to oneself:—“I am doubting the
faith, I am sinning against faith.” All the time, one is only unreasonable,—trying to imagine what can be intellectually conceived, but not pictured. It is different, I think, if you think of death naturally; not
unnaturally.

(1) To die is a violence (as I said) from one point of view; but from
another point of view, it is natural. And to most people it seems
natural to die, when they are dying. Consequently it is easy to
imagine yourself on your sick bed, very weak, and faintly hearing
prayers around you, and receiving the Sacraments, and gently losing
consciousness, and sleeping in God’s arms. (This is actually the way
death comes to most people,—quite easily and pleasantly.) And
looked at in this way, it does not feel like an extinction, the going out
of a candle; it seems, on the contrary, impossible to feel that this is
the end of one’s personality. But what comes next? We leave that to
God,—we do not try to imagine it.

(2) Only in prayer can you get near it—if the world ever falls away,
and leaves you in infinity—which you can only describe as
nothingness, though it is everything.
The moral of this is,—do not try to imagine ‘after death’, for
imagination is only of material and sensible things. Only try to realise
what it is to be with God.

One’s terror of death, after seeing a dead person, is merely
because it is unaccustomed. If you were an Undertaker, you wouldn’t
feel it! Nor even if you were a Nurse in a hospital. It is a thing to
laugh yourself out of. But it does not matter much. Some people are
afraid of mice or frogs. Some people are afraid of corpses. Some
people are afraid of ghosts. Others can’t stand the sight of blood. But
you can get accustomed to seeing pools of it, and people blown to
bits, and be cheerful and joking, and pass by taking no notice. It is all
a matter of habit. The Chinese don’t mind dying, provided they are
sure of having a really nice coffin. I can’t say the prospect would
appeal to me.

These are gruesome subjects! I think it is much better to be
accustomed to them, and to take them as a matter of course. The
worst of death is really the blanks it leaves in this world. But it often
fills up blanks in the next world; and we must rejoice when some one,
dear to us, takes the place prepared “from the foundation of the
world”, as our Lord tells us, for that soul;—(at least He says
“kingdom”, not “place”; I am misquoting).

I am sorry to have been so long in answering. But it is an effort to
write letters, when one is hard at work on other things.
Ever yours sincerely in Χρο,
fr. H. JOHN CHAPMAN, O.S.B.

Michael And I Have Similar Resume's

2010-09-03T15:01:00.000-04:00

Appearance

2010-09-03T12:55:00.002-04:00

Shakira talking about her child poverty initiative

"We are a people obsessed with appearance, with image, with looking good, with being good-looking. For us today, by and large, it is more important to look good than to be good, to look healthy than to be healthy, to say the right things than to do the right things, to be connected to the right persons than to be the right persons, and to be perceived as having character than to actually have character."

- Ron Rolheiser

The full article is just a bit longer, and a "great read" if I do say so myself. Very thoughtful and balanced writing style. Me likey.

Thanks to Dave McDonald for pointing me towards Mr. Rolheiser's blog.

Christopher Nolan is a Duck Tales fan, obviously

2010-09-02T11:03:00.005-04:00

I always knew Duck Tales was awesome, but this takes it to a whole new level.

(Click picture to make it bigger)

Why the Star Wars Prequels are the most disappointing event in cinematic history

2010-05-20T14:03:00.002-04:00

Reason #246

Let's compare a nice romantic scene from "The Empire Strikes Back" and from "Attack of the Clones".

Episode V:

Han: Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think I'm alright.
Leia: Ocassionally. Maybe. When you aren't acting like a scoundrel.
Han: Soundrel? Scoundrel. I like the sound of that.
Leia: Stop that.
Han: Stop what?
Leia: Stop that, my hands are dirty.
Han: My hands are dirty too. What are you afraid of?
Leia: Afraid?
Han: You're trembling.
Leia: I'm not trembling.
Han: You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There are no scoundrels in your life.
Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han: I'm a nice man.
Leia: No you're not, you're..
/kiss

vs. Episode 2

Anakin: I love you, Padme.
Padme: I can't. I'm a Senator.
Anakin: I love you, Padme.
Padme: I can't. I'm a Senator.
Anakin: No, I like totally love you, and I'm being super cereal!
Padme: I can't. I'm a Senator.
Anakin: But I love you!!!! For true. FOR TRUE!!
Padme: I can't. I'm a Senator.
Anakin: I love you, Padme.
Padme: I love you too, Anakin!!

Ricky Gervais pitches "The Office" to Patrick Stewart

2010-04-06T10:22:00.005-04:00

TeleVision

2010-03-24T13:26:00.001-04:00

Book Review: Picking Dandelions

2010-02-14T15:59:00.016-05:00

The completion of a book is a rare occurrence for me these days. For whatever reason I've fallen out of the habit. Blogs are so much more tempting reading material, with their unthreatening length and colorful pictures. Perhaps that's why Sarah's new book, "Picking Dandelions" is just what I needed to rekindle a good habit.

"Write what you know. That should leave you with a lot of free time."

- Howard Nemerov

Mr.Nemerov is parroting(with sarcastic hilarity) a gem of writing wisdom so ancient and universal it cannot be convincingly attributed to a single person: Write what you know.

Sarah has followed this advice quite well. As the book opens, through humor and honest humility, she explains her journey through midwestern-christian-childhood. There is much said in this section about faith, legacy, and innocence. Refreshingly, it is there to be found, not on display with a blinking power-point presentation of transformational truths. The chapters are conversational and personal without falling victim to navel-gazing.

In the second half of the book we follow Sarah into adulthood, or something resembling it(see Kiddults page 105). With a complete lack of seriousness but no shortage of reverence, she reflects on her growth and seemingly paradoxical, lack of growth. I could easily relate, and enjoyed doing so. I laughed out loud in several sections.

The chapters regarding her grandmother are especially sweet and rich with emotion and meaning, just beneath the sarcastic humor.

Bottom line: This book got me thinking about what I can do today and tomorrow to change. To pick some weeds. Not because I feel guilty they are there in the first place, or because others will disapprove of the overgrowth, but because I am excited about the possibilities of what will grow in their place. That kind of gentle, convicting encouragement is more than welcome, and leaves a smile on my face as I finish the book and wake up my 3yr old daughter, who slept on my lap for the last 100 pages.

I start my new Workout Regime today...

2010-02-04T11:51:00.001-05:00

Reading is FUNdaMENTAL!

2010-02-01T10:29:00.007-05:00

Watch for my blog post reviewing Sarah Cunningham's new book, which hey, just came out today! you can buy it here.

Sarah Raymond Cunningham is a high school teacher, part-time college prof, and chief servant to the nine month emperor Justus. She is a popular church and conference speaker, the author of Dear Church, and a contributor to several books, including unChristian. Sarah, her husband, Chuck, and their son live with their manic Jack Russell terrier in Jackson, Michigan. They attend a church plant called Rivertree. Find out more at www.sarahcunningham.org

Someone Needs To Tell Her...

2010-01-08T13:02:00.000-05:00

... that this is impossible!

Regret

2010-01-05T13:54:00.001-05:00

Water Balloon

2010-01-05T13:47:00.001-05:00

That's One Way To Win A Snowball Fight...

2009-12-22T13:14:00.004-05:00

your thoughts?

This is kind of the perfect storm when it comes to news, because this story has:
Twitter
Police Misconduct
Viral YouTube videos
Race Issues
Guns
Hummers(environmental card)
Humor
and finally it has that elusive "OMG what did that headline just say!?" factor that generates click through.

I'm Yours

2009-12-15T16:37:00.002-05:00

"I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz is the sort of a sweet, fun, go-to song when you're in need of a quick musical pick-me-up.

Add to that a ukulele and a six-year old bundle of cuteness, and you've got something that should lift even your Monday morning spirits

The Word "Nerd" Get's Thrown Around Alot...

2009-12-11T23:15:00.007-05:00

...But how often is it really warranted?

I submit to you the events of the week of August 13 2006, during which I lead a diverse team of 20 men and women from across this great country, through hours of difficult gaming, demanding coordination, improvisation, and flawless execution, finally culminating in our conflict with the Blood God known as "Hakkar the Soulflayer" aka "The Faceless One"(pictured below)

Scary!

One of our guildmates(yes, i say this word with a straight face) recorded our accomplishment for posterity and sent it to me. Thanks "Chiknbut"(straight face again).

My characters name is "Husband". I am the voice calmly giving directions, and at the beginning of the video I encourage everyone to "do their best". What a guild leader. Master of the pep talk. You can see my character, the first one running up to the big snake at the beginning to start the fight. Once more into the breach, dear friends?

My brother Chris is "Lexyn" and he is the voice saying "Spread out" at the beginning, and later angrily asking "Whose playing that music!?", which may be my favorite quote from this video. Also near the end, nervously and excitedly encouraging us all to "Kill him now! Nuke the freakin crap out of him!". Priceless.

Bro-in-law Tommy is "Nuttyprophet" and briefly says "Nutty has Corrupted Blood" which of course makes total sense to you if you've never done battle with Hakkar the Soulflayer.

"Clear" is a high school junior from California who can frequently be heard requesting that Lexyn "SHEEEEEEP MEEEEE!" or that Nuttyprophet "DISPELL MEEEEEEEEE!".

A couple other local friends in this video, but not with speaking roles. Quietly ridding the World(of Warcraft) of crazed Blood Gods and evil Dragons are:

April Butterfield aka "Wife"
Kris Coxon aka "Saintly"

At the end the tension is really palpable, because some of the party started dying and we almost didn't win. Also, after 10 minutes, Hakkar goes berserk and kills everyone quickly, and we defeated him at just under the 9 minute mark.

I believe my position as the nerdiest guy you know is now solidly established.

Booya.

Special thanks to Nate, for resurrecting this video from the depths of my hard drive by posting a link to an old World of Warcraft video on his blog recently. I had forgotten I had this, and it only gets funnier as time passes.

No, I haven't seen it

2009-12-01T16:27:00.001-05:00

Arkham Asylum Review

2009-11-18T16:07:00.003-05:00

This guy cracks me up. Best video game reviews ever! Warning for some of my readers: He cusses and makes some crude jokes.

More Than Meets The Eye?

2009-11-13T13:37:00.002-05:00

I Think It's For You

2009-11-06T10:38:00.001-05:00

Frustrated Microsoft Community Managers

2009-11-04T16:46:00.004-05:00

TeamXbox Warns Readers Not To Vote Uncharted 2 as Game of The Year (Hilarious)

"Everyone Loves Me, Even Xbox Fans...The Power!"

Some hilarious and game-defining news can easily come from just watching the gaming communities. Well, on TeamXbox, members were asked to vote for the Game of The Year. Tons of seasoned Xbox members insisted that Uncharted 2, while not a 360 title, should easily win the award. TeamXbox issued the following warning, "Uncharted 2? Seriously people? What’s the name of this website? Fine, it’s supposedly a great game, though none of us have played it yet. We’re willing to accept that it’s a clear winner for best PS3 game of the year, but this is not TeamPS3. It’s cool to be into other games on other consoles, but we’re concentrating on the Xbox 360 here, folks."

The Source.

Drugs!

2009-11-03T12:59:00.001-05:00

Treat Flirt Confusion with Flirtoproson - watch more funny videos

Cool Shirt or Coolest Shirt?

2009-11-02T10:05:00.004-05:00

from Brant

So True for Me!

2009-10-30T10:50:00.002-04:00

I-94 Adventure

2009-10-30T10:42:00.001-04:00

Courtesy of Failblog

All the Behind-The-Scenes In One Place

2009-10-29T11:21:00.003-04:00

Prayer and Reflection on an overcast day

2009-10-27T13:05:00.004-04:00

Last night at Satellite we were discussing the Acolyte(connecting with God through ritual, tradition, or disciplines) aspect of Christian spirituality, and my friend Joe shared about his use of a prayer rope over the past couple of years. The repeated prayer, goes like this:

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."

His story was encouraging to me. I like the idea of connecting/interacting with God in new ways.

So today, after my jog, I was trying this prayer on for size, repeating it, and focusing on the words and what they meant to me.

Then Matthew 6:7 popped into my head. So I thought "am I repeating this prayer so that I will be heard?"

Attempting to open my intentions like a book and read them, I was reminded of Proverbs 20:5 so I took my time and asked God for wisdom and candor before answering my own question. Upon exiting the hot tub(I know, I'm spoiled!) a verdict had been reached.

I was not doing the repetition so that God would hear me. I was attempting to hear God. To open a space for Him, to surrender to Him. I'm going to make a prayer rope and spin this out further. God is worthy of that, I'm sure of it. Now, what kind of rope? What size? What color? Why that color/size? What does it mean to me?

This is gonna be fun.

Excuse Me While I Nerd Out

2009-10-26T13:09:00.003-04:00

I know it's a horrible cliche but Naughty Dog has created the first truly "cinematic" game experience ever, and it really does feel like the long-awaited follow-up to the original Indiana Jones trilogy(we all know Crystal Skull failed us there). The graphics are obviously the best available right now but, more importantly, the painstaking care which went into the script, voice/motion-capture acting, cutscenes etc. is simply astounding. There's a whole feature length film in here - roughly 91 minutes separated into 3-4 minute shorts, impeccably directed chunks of ruthlessly efficient story exposition and character development, and it's all great fun to watch and re-watch (hell, even slightly moving at times, which is not something I say often about storylines in video games).

The cinematic qualities extend far beyond the cutscenes, though, and the single most amazing thing about the game is probably that virtually every gunfight (or puzzle segment, for that matter, though those tend to be relatively rare in the game) feels dynamic enough that it could serve as an elaborate set piece in a really good action movie. Rather than just spawning a few generic soldiers in an open space and have the player pick them off one by one, developer Naughty Dog throws in a helicopter, a moving train, a rapidly collapsing building or just about anything else that will make the action come alive and feel like so much more than just another room full of enemies. The effective use of scripted events in action-oriented 3D games arguably began all the way back in Valve's first Half-Life game, but never has it been done this ambitiously and with such amazingly seamless results.

The jaded cynic in me I kept asking myself "well, when is the game going to run out of steam and devolve into a standard action game?". The answer is that it simply doesn't; Uncharted 2 is an absolutely exhilarating experience all the way through the game's 26 chapters. If this is not a reason to own a PS3, I don't know what is...

How I feel about scaring people into the Kingdom of God

2009-10-22T15:17:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Ben for this video.

I know the anger he's talking about. I was at a very legalistic church on mothers day a few years ago(kind of an obligation, a relative invited us). The church has a bus route that picks up kids for their sunday school. They had encouraged the kids to invite their parents to mothers day service.

after "jokingly" talking about how fathers don't get enough credit(on mothers day, nice!), he started into a "true story" about a young woman who attended church for the first time, because her daughter had invited her. This woman didn't like what the preacher had to say and she left the service early. The preacher tried to stop her and talk to her outside, but she was so defiant and angry she told him off and left.

Then she went to the bar, and brought a guy home to sleep with. This "preacher" then went on to describe how the guy from the bar molested the daughter and murdered the woman and the girl.

He then says "Why did this happen? Because she rejected God. When we're out of his protection, awful things can happen!"

I was sitting next to a young woman who was obviously there for the first time because her daughter had invited her. She was black and everyone else was white. I cannot describe the feeling of anger for this man I had, and how my heart broke for this woman. To this day I wish I had followed my gut and stood up and yelled at him "who the hell do you think you are?" or turned to the woman and told her this was all BS. Instead I just looked at her, shook my head from side to side with an apologetic look on my face, stood up and walked out of his sermon in protest. I just couldn't listen anymore. Becky was outside with the kids on their playground equipment. Thankfully she didn't have to hear the worst "turn or burn" sermon since the 1700's.

Sense

2009-09-22T10:12:00.002-04:00

This picture makes none.

Extra Credit Question:
Is she pregnant?

Because the Internet doesn't have enough Kanye Related Jokes

2009-09-22T09:17:00.001-04:00

Something for the Ladies

2009-09-17T12:33:00.003-04:00

25 ways your boyfriend might be a douchebag

He quotes LFO lyrics in Valentine's Day cards to you.

He refers to his mother as "my moms."

He finds any excuse to take his shirt off.

He spent more money "tricking out" his car than the car was originally worth.

He is Kanye West.

He refers to the local football team as "my team" despite having no ownership of said team, nor does he support them during rebuilding years.

On more than zero occasions, he's waxed his chest.

He firmly believes Staten Island is a state.

His DVD collection contains any of the Fast and the Furious oeuvre.

He has a tattoo on his neck.

His resume mentions how much he can bench press.

He has no grasp of the phrase "you peaked in high school."

He has a beer pong table in his house and is over the age of 23.

Is (or was) involved in any form of the banking industry at some point in his life.

He can accurately describe what the inside of a tanning bed looks like.

He has no recollection of his SAT score, but can quote - verbatim - Dane Cook's last album.

He purchased Fantasy Football insurance.

He wrote a fan letter to John Cena.

Non sarcastically, he names his genitalia after a Greek and/or Norse god.

He uses his hairstyle to make a political statement.

He changes his Facebook profile photo at least once a week.

Ordering anything other than a beer at a bar invokes a "pussy" comment from him.

His closet is filled entirely with Ed Hardy T-shirts and Von Dutch hats.

He owns more Nickelback mp3s than toothbrushes.

He gets visibly angry when his shoes get dirty.

list from here

Translation

2009-09-16T16:11:00.003-04:00

It can be a tricky process, but here goes...

For Shame Kanye

2009-09-14T15:49:00.000-04:00

Somebody forgot to tell this guy Southerners pride themselves on civility

2009-09-10T10:14:00.005-04:00

The guy who yelled "You Lie!" ...during President Obamas speech was Rep. Joe Wilson, Republican of South Carolina. Heckling the President of the United States on national television before a joint session of Congress? Why not just throw your shoe at him like that Iraqi journalist and call it a day? Unbelievable.

Oh, by the way...
"HR 3200 SEC. 246. NO FEDERAL PAYMENT FOR UNDOCUMENTED ALIENS: Nothing in this subtitle shall allow Federal payments for affordability credits on behalf of individuals who are not lawfully present in the United States."

Well, THAT was fast...

Headline: Joe Wilson Apologizes - ASAP

“This evening I let my emotions get the best of me when listening to the President’s remarks regarding the coverage of illegal immigrants in the health care bill. While I disagree with the President’s statement, my comments were inappropriate and regrettable. I extend sincere apologies to the President for this lack of civility.”

That’s Politician for, "I regret that my calculated, disruptive publicity stunt was met with popular hostility."

I mean, the guy was able to read advance copies of the speech, but his "emotions got the best of him"?

Puh-leeze.

This is a new post, for now

2009-09-09T16:42:00.004-04:00

In my excitement for the Ukranian(<---spelled wrong) sand artist, I made the video all "frighteningly large" as my wife said(i know i know, thats what she said). This post serves, mostly, to move that video down a little, so as not to obscure my genius level observations on twitter, such as "I'm tense today" or "people are peculiar". Riveting stuff to be sure. words are running out, so I think I'll throw a picture up here to fill space what is going on?

Oh, one of my favorite bloggers is giving quitting another chance. woot!

Amazing Sand Artist

2009-08-31T12:44:00.000-04:00

Kseniya Simonova is a Ukrainian artist who just won Ukraine's version of "America's Got Talent." She uses a giant light box, dramatic music, imagination and "sand painting" skills to interpret Germany's invasion and occupation of Ukraine during WWII.

He's a Blowhard

2009-08-13T01:06:00.005-04:00

After initially agreeing to appear on the "Mancow" show(which I knew nothing about) when they first called me, I visited the website and was alarmed by the banality, negativity, and polarizing political nature of the programing. I really debated if it would be wise to talk to this guy. In the end I decided to go on cuzz' I felt God was all "ya ya, you got this bro", and the producer assured me I could take 20secs and mention the great work of Compassion.com and SimplyMissions.org(I had asked if it would be ok to do this).

Well, they cut the 20sec plug for the charities, which i didn't discover until I heard the following recording. Classy.

Here is what they aired (i gave you a picture to look at from my desktop! It's completely unrelated. I just like it cuzz' rachel is CUTE and I'm wearing my question mark hat)

After my segment ended, the producer came back on the phone, and suprisingly(and quite genuinely) said "I'm with you Tim. Mancow is a big blowhard. God bless you and your family." That was funny, and encouraging to hear. I told him I understood it was the hosts job to be that way and no hard feelings, and God bless you to bro.

M1 Garand

2009-07-20T10:35:00.003-04:00

My favorite part is when the clip pops out of the top!

Prior to yesterday, the last time I discharged a firearm was at the tender age of 13, and it was a .22 rifle at Spring Hill Camp. Let's just say the M1 and AK47 were a different experience altogether.

This is my buddy Matt's M1 Garand rifle. He was generous enough to take me to a local firing range. Matt also taught me a lot about firearms, their history, and modern safety. My nephew AJ came along as well, mainly to embarras me with his superior shooting prowess and accuracy. It's like he wants to be a marine or something. Go figure.

Here is AJ showing me how's it's done with a .45 caliber 1911. All but one of these shots hits a seperate target at 25 yards. He hasn't shot that much more than me, so it's really natural ability.

What's wrong with the world / Adoption 101

2009-07-08T15:54:00.003-04:00

What?

2009-06-29T11:41:00.002-04:00

I can't stop laughing at this.

War, what is it good for?

2009-06-02T11:29:00.004-04:00

Every gun that is made, every warship launched,
every rocket fired signifies in the final sense,
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed.
This world in arms is not spending money alone.
It is spending the sweat of its laborers,
the genius of its scientists,
the hopes of its children.
This is not a way of life at all in any true sense.
Under the clouds of war,
it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.

Dwight D. Eisenhower, From a speech before the American Society of Newspaper Editors, April 16, 1953
34th president of US 1953-1961 (1890 - 1969)

Sexy People

2009-05-22T14:23:00.007-04:00

Carla or: Growing Happiness

I wonder which one of these hangs on the wall at the bank where she works?
1984
Usa

Bernard

A renaissance man: the disk demonstrates his commitment to learning; the sweater, to art; and the tie, to athletics. Bravo, Bernard, you are the reason that life is worth living.
1992
Usa

Williams Family

Is the dad Herb Tarleck from WKRP?
1973
Usa

Brothers in Brew

This photo qualifies them both for membership in AA
1993
Usa

Diego

Space is a vacuum, it doesn't need vacuuming...

But if it does call Diego, he seems to have the market cornered.
1989
Spain
gracias Diego!

Leonardo & the Laird Family

I can't decide what I like best here: the baby's expression, how thoroughly creepy Leonardo looks, or the fact that both Laird parents appear thrilled beyond words.
1990
Usa

Brett

This one has it all--bowl haircut, mullet, Cosby sweater, mustache fuzz, class ring, thoughtful pose. It's all here.
1990
USA

Matt

such sincere eyes. there's pain behind that mullet.
1981
Usa

Deandre

He owns that watch. Owns it.
1993
Usa

Batfan

I will never be as happy about anything as this guy was about Batman.
1995
USA

Self-conscious about your height? You're not alone.

2009-05-13T10:51:00.003-04:00

haha

2009-05-07T11:50:00.003-04:00

E.L.I.T.E.

2009-04-14T15:34:00.001-04:00

"Dead Is Dead"

2009-04-10T14:08:00.006-04:00

Great episode. What struck me was that I finally feel like I understand now why Ben said Alex was, "just a pawn and means nothing to me," when Keamy was about to kill her. Because that's exactly what she was. Just a pawn. At least at first.

It seemed to me that the scene where Ben challenges Widmore to kill baby-Alex mirrored the scene in season 3 where Ben challenged Locke to kill his own father (the Man from Tallahassee). Richard later explains to Locke that Ben did this in order to embarrass him in front of the Others because Ben perceived Locke as a threat to his leadership. When Locke refuses, he loses face with the Others and is soon cast out. At least until Sawyer does the job for him.

So I would argue that Ben is doing the same thing here with Widmore, and what's more, he originally stole Alex, not because Danielle was insane, or because he was emotionally moved by the baby, but purely to use the baby as a pawn against Widmore, knowing that Widmore would be forced to either murder the baby himself or lose face in front of the Others. As with Locke, Widmore loses face, and before long gets cast out likewise.

Yet despite all of this, Ben still grew to love Alex as his own daughter over time, perhaps without even realizing it himself until she was dead. I suppose that's what makes Ben kind of a tragic character. He's grown so adept at using people as pawns he doesn't even know his own heart anymore.

What Facebook Is For

2009-04-09T13:05:00.001-04:00

Watchmen

2009-03-06T09:58:00.002-05:00

I saw the first showing of "Watchmen" last night with some friends. Chris Tookey wrote the review below and I agree with it 100%. Quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen.

Filming the grim graphic novel Watchmen is a project which has attracted - and defeated - such classy directors as Terry Gilliam, Darren Aronofsky and Paul Greengrass.

Any of them would have done a better job than Zack Snyder, the man who perpetrated the uproariously camp bloodbath that was 300.

Even Alan Moore, co-writer of the original book (who has wisely taken his name off the movie and denounced it in advance), has called it unfilmable.

The startlingly ambitious opening montage - a potted pre-history of the Watchmen as masked vigilantes - shows a promise unmatched in the rest of the picture.

Then we find ourselves in an alternative 1985, where President Nixon has been re-elected for a fifth term. For unexplained reasons, Russia is still a superpower, and on the brink of nuclear war with America.

It all feels woefully dated, as well it might - the film is doggedly faithful to a graphic novel published more than two decades ago, long since overtaken by political events.

And it's one too many movies - after X Men, The Dark Knight and Push - set in a world where crime-fighting superheroes have been outlawed.

That unoriginality, combined with flat dialogue and soulless direction, would be enough to make this a bad movie, but it's also an example of comic-strip cinema at its most pretentious and overblown.

At two hours 44 minutes, it is insanely long. A four-hour director's cut is threatened.

It is a perfect storm of all the worst aspects of the genre, including a dispiriting appetite for pornographic brutality, vacuous characters and abominable acting, especially by Malin Ackerman as Silk Spectre, Matthew Goode as a hopelessly lightweight version of Ozymandias (supposedly the world's brainiest man but who looks as if one sarcastic comment from Gail Trimble would knock him sideways) and Robert Wisden as Nixon, sporting the world's most ridiculous false nose.

Three-quarters of the movie is taken up with flashbacks about alarmingly-fascistic vigilantes.

But even though the future of mankind is supposed to be at stake, it's shockingly hard to stay awake.

It's supremely tasteless, too: a pregnant woman is shot in the stomach by one of our superhero protagonists; two more of them laugh about a man being thrown down a lift shaft; a man is burned alive with cooking fat by a fourth; and a six-year-old girl is torn apart by dogs.

Watchmen is unwatchable - a grotesque squandering of time, talent and technology.

This despicable trash will find an audience among sad sociopaths, deranged pseudo-intellectuals and brutalised, immature men of all ages. I just hope that there aren't enough of them to make it a hit. If there are, God help cinema.

Verdict: Hollywood at its woeful worst

50 years

2009-02-02T16:29:00.003-05:00

Becky and I had a guest for dinner 2 weeks ago. Tom was Becky's counselor years ago and played a big role in bringing about some profound healing for her. They have stayed in touch since. He currently teaches counseling and communication, among others things, at a university nearby.

Tom's wife of 50 years passed away a little over a month ago. Tom is 67. Dinner was my first time meeting this great man. What a blessing to know him.

We asked him about the success of his 50yr marriage to a woman he fell in love with when he was 17, and he said this: "Sometimes one person feels like quitting, sometimes the other, you just pray that you don't both feel that way at the same time. We were blessed."

The humility of this statement, the honesty, especially considering the source, was and is disarming and inspiring to me. I'm sure there are any number of very wise things he could have said, "be committed, keep open communication, etc." but he just cut through all that and got right down to it. We are fallen. We will fail. God and those who represent Him in our lives protect us. We protect them. God help Becky and I to protect each other and our marriage.

I want to be Tom when I grow up.

daily joy and other things I don't deserve via Blackberry

2009-01-12T12:11:00.009-05:00

Becky shoots and e-mails me these videos with her Blackberry while I am at work. How awesome is that? Wrong. If you said "very awesome", or "totally awesome", you're dead wrong. I doubt the awesomeness could be measured with words or any man-made scale or system.

Catch 22

2008-10-30T22:11:00.007-04:00

It could be said that the Bible has endured because it is filled with a great many puzzling, frightening, and engaging stories. As a people, we just can't put the book down. Perhaps, in our western culture, a false sense of familiarity has robbed us of this desire. The fact still remains though, it's a page turner. Why? Because we crave stories. Not just Jack and Jill went up the hill kind of stories. We want to be conflicted, compelled, challenged, and ultimately changed by the tales we take in, even if it's just the stirrings of change. we are fond of saying "that movie/book/TV Show/Play made me think" if we liked it. Indeed. Thinking. Always a dangerous proposition for those who wish not to change.

Jesus knew this. In His day and in our time as well, some people complain Jesus is being to ambiguous when he answers a question or conveys a teaching with a story/parable. He's being indirect and too open to interpretation they say. Perhaps. Why doesn't He just get to the point and talk straight, tell it like it is? I would argue there is not a more effective and incisive method of teaching than story telling. It requires participation on the part of the listener. It sets the listener up to ask more questions, to dig deeper. It can move the conversation from our heads to our gut, where we feel deeply and we understand deeper still. Example: I can tell you that murder is wrong, and you would agree(hopefully!), from your head. But if I told you a story about an abusive boyfriend who shot and killed his lover and her 2yr old child in cold blood, you would understand in your gut, that it is wrong.

So stories are compelling. I'm working on writing because I want to be able to share my life, my stories, with friends and family in such a way that they understand me. Story-telling is an art, whether it's fact or fiction. As with any art, one learns by studying the work of others. So what are some of my favorite stories? Funny I should ask! I have one all prepared.

LOST the television show is, in my mind, a true masterpiece. Here is one of my favorite stories from that shows third season, episode 18, which is titled "Catch 22". The video is 18 minutes long, but well worth the watch. What are some of your favorite stories?

Ari

2008-10-22T09:07:00.001-04:00

Late Night Ramblings

2008-09-27T02:07:00.008-04:00

Yes, it's like 2:08 in the AM. I should be asleep. But hey, who are you to judge? You should be doing something more productive than reading a college dropouts blog. I guess we're pretty much even then, so let's agree to proceed with our judgment pants taken off, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

I got a 2004 Chevy Malibu Maxx and it's pretty freakin' awesome. Becky picked it. I picked out our Taurus 6 years ago and we have suffered in the throes of total normalcy and uncoolness ever since. I am bad at choosing things, like cars. I really try hard to make a good decision, and then it's just "meh". Perhaps this explains my general unease with buffets.

Almost two years of regularly jogging are under my belt. This is braggable because I have classically been thought of by my family and friends as having a sense of responsibility and commitment usually only associated with toddlers or very, very, very old people. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying people ridicule me. On the contrary, my family and friends, their expectations so low(or maybe their just maddeningly nice), compliment me on every little sign of maybe, perhaps stumbling towards adulthood. I'm using hyperbole(exageration) here, but I really do worry about this sometimes. Soo many people are nice to me(everyone), that when somebody is not nice to me I am completely shocked and think to myself "WHAT'S HIS/HER PROBLEM??! WHAT A DOUCHE BAG!"

I sometimes wonder if I am gonna get to heaven and God will be like, "nothing for ya up here buddy, you got all your congrats from your mom and wife. Now be a good chimney sweep and clean Sitaram's 14 fireplaces". Sitaram is a kid from India I met once.

This sounds alot more like a girlie diary entry(no disrespect to my female readers, hi jenny) and alot less like a cool blog post than I would like. Well, it's either this, or spend time actually thinking about what I write before-hand and plan it all out to look really cool/funny/insightful, and I can't even finsish reading a book, so I'm thinking a cool blog post is out of the question at this point.

Ya, so I was talking about my running habit. I work out so I look good(physically) to my wife more than I do it to be healthy, which I really wish weren't true and I would like to lie to you and to myself and say it's the other way around, but meh. Also, when I think about it, I work out to accomplish something, to look at how I can run farther/faster than I did a year ago and say "hey, my life isn't pointless, I'm progressing, I'm growing, and it's measurable and undeniable." As if running for 30 minutes and lifting weights isn't the DEFINITION of pointlessness. I'm not running TO anywhere, and the weights don't need to be taken anywhere(if they do, they aren't getting there cuzz I always put them back in the same place I got them from).

in conclusion, here are some pictures of my friend Calvin. I think they speak for themselves.

Obama Drama

2008-08-26T13:00:00.005-04:00

First let's do a pro's/con's analysis

Pro's
1. Has run a positive campaign
2. Seems genuinely concerned for social justice on an international level
3. Great orator

Con's
1. Marxism

Then there is the question of abortion. He supports it being legal, but he doesn't stop there. Obama goes so far as to deny proper medical treatment to a child that has been born alive due to a botched abortion. Here is the link to the article, and a link to the transcript of his words on the floor of the Illinois Senate in 2002. I encourage you to read them. If you don't want to follow the links though, and would like me to summarize, he voted against a bill that would have required the attending physician to come into the room and check the baby if the aborting physician had reason to believe the child was alive.

Obama didn't want the doctor who botched the abortion to be troubled with bringing in another doctor. He said he is willing to trust the doctor who just made a huge mistake to handle the care of the child. That's not how we handle any other medical malpractice, and it especially shouldn't be how we handle them when a child's life is at stake. And besides says Obama, he's afraid this legislation will somehow be used to undermine Roe v Wade and God forbid that happen! Even Planned Parenthood supported this bill. Only a very few opposed it, only the ultra abortionists.

Also, during the Rick Warren interview, Obama said that the answer to the question "when does human life begin?" was "above his pay grade". He's saying he doesn't know when human life begins, and he's suggesting that the medical community is unclear on the subject. Well, it's not unclear at all, and he should know that. The issue of a "fetus" being a life has been settled for quite some time. And even if it wasn't clear, say I'm hunting "is that a human or a deer in those bushes? Shoot first! We need supper!".

But many evangelicals are supporting Obama in spite of these views and votes. They say let's not look at just this one issue, and besides even if the next President packed the court with Roe v Wade haters, it may still be very hard to get it outlawed in all 50 states, maybe even impossible.

So in a nutshell the Obama Abortion arguments of evangelicals go like this:

"Obama Defends an Indefensible, Brutal, Murderous Philosophy" vs. "Yeah, Okay, But It Doesn't Really Matter"

To me, it matters.

WALL-E

2008-07-30T13:26:00.003-04:00

I saw WALL-E with Becky last week and we enjoyed it quite a bit. I'm a big Pixar fan. Toy Story, Finding Nemo, A Bug's Life, and now WALL-E are just great story telling in my opinion. Writing at it's finest.

So when Andrew Stanton, the Writer/Director of WALL-E sat down with Christianity Today for an interview about his new film, I was eager to read. It's a great interview, I especially like how Mr. Stanton explains the humans in space, not as a commentary on Western Consumerism, but on the breakdown of human relationships. Here is the article, enjoy.
ARTICLE

LOL

2008-07-28T10:47:00.003-04:00

Thanks to Brant over at Kamp Krusty for this MS Paint masterpiece.

Timothy Ari Maynard

2008-06-20T22:50:00.004-04:00

June 18th 2008 at 4:29pm Becky and I met the coolest guy. He let me take a picture. See what I mean? So cool.

God answered our prayers and the labor went very well. Becky had no drugs and finished the whole thing in under 3 hours. What a woman! I'm so proud of her.

Global Warming

2008-06-17T16:07:00.003-04:00

Have you seen "an inconvenient truth"?

Are you going about changing your life to become "carbon neutral"?

That's awesome. Seriously, you rock! I can tell you're the kind of person who perceives a threat to the greater good of mankind, and goes about making personal sacrifices in an attempt to rectify said threat. Maybe you've thought about purchasing "carbon credits", or perhaps have already purchased them. Man, you are really committed!

Considering all the personal change and sacrifice that you've thought about making or have already made, I think it would be a good idea to check out this link. Be warned it has a fair amount of heavy lifting for your brain, but I appreciated the scientific detail.

"I don't want to follow your stupid link Tim."

I understand, you are probably barely interested enough to keep reading this web-page-thingy, let alone follow my thoughts to another one. I know my own interest in this post is waining as we speak! Time to wrap it up.

"Isn't there some way for me, the Kwik-E-Mart reader, to have this 'link' summarized?"

Oh alright, here is a brief summary. These facts are explained and presented in MUCH greater detail, if you follow the link(you know you want to!).

The temperature effect of atmospheric carbon dioxide is logarithmic, not exponential.

The potential planetary warming from a doubling of atmospheric carbon dioxide from pre-Industrial Revolution levels of ~280ppmv to 560ppmv (possible some time later this century - perhaps) is generally estimated at around 1 °C.

The guesses of significantly larger warming are dependent on "feedback" (supplementary) mechanisms programmed into climate models. The existence of these "feedback" mechanisms is uncertain and the cumulative sign of which is unknown (they may add to warming from increased atmospheric carbon dioxide or, equally likely, might suppress it).

The total warming since measurements have been attempted is thought to be about 0.6 degrees Centigrade. At least half of the estimated temperature increment occurred before 1950, prior to significant change in atmospheric carbon dioxide levels. Assuming the unlikely case that all the natural drivers of planetary temperature change ceased to operate at the time of measured atmospheric change then a 30% increment in atmospheric carbon dioxide caused about one-third of one degree temperature increment since and thus provides empirical support for less than one degree increment due to a doubling of atmospheric carbon dioxide.

There is no linear relationship between atmospheric carbon dioxide change and global mean temperature or global mean temperature trend -- global mean temperature has both risen and fallen during the period atmospheric carbon dioxide has been rising.

The natural world has tolerated greater than one-degree fluctuations in mean temperature during the relatively recent past and thus current changes are within the range of natural variation. (See, for example, ice core and sea surface temperature reconstructions.)

Other anthropogenic(caused by humans) effects are vastly more important, at least on local and regional scales.

Fixation on atmospheric carbon dioxide is a distraction from these more important anthropogenic effects.

Despite attempts to label atmospheric carbon dioxide a "pollutant" it is, in fact, an essential trace gas, the increasing abundance of which is a bonus for the bulk of the biosphere.

There is no reason to believe that slightly lower temperatures are somehow preferable to slightly higher temperatures - there is no known "optimal" nor any known means of knowingly and predictably adjusting some sort of planetary thermostat.

Fluctuations in atmospheric carbon dioxide are of little relevance in the short to medium term (although should levels fall too low it could prove problematic in the longer-term).

"Enlarge My Territory" or "5 Bedrooms And 3 Baths Plz"

2008-06-05T20:35:00.009-04:00

Do the teachings of church's in America have anything to do with the housing crisis?

I don't know. But I have a hunch. A suspicion. And I'm going to spin it out for you here in the next couple of paragraphs. Keep in mind these are the opinions and observations of a completely unprofessional, mostly uninformed, and thoroughly unresearched individual, and should be taken with a grain, if not a wheelbarrow, of salt.

Almost everyone(and by everyone, I mean NPR, and yahoo news) agrees Sub-prime mortgages, and the rising number of defaults on them, are the largest factor in the free fall of home values. These mortgages are given to people who meet one or all of the following criteria:

sketchy credit
can't produce much proof of income
can't make any down payment

Now these loans are being defaulted on for a variety of reasons. Some that I'm aware of through various news sources(NPR and Yahoo, the most trusted names in news):

1. Shady loan officers who mislead naive people into loans with payments that "suddenly" skyrocket(most of these victims will definitely read the fine print next time eh?).

2. Over-exuberant investors throwing piles of money at anybody with a contracting license to build homes that were, or so they thought, "guaranteed" to sell for 3 times as much as it cost to build them. Often these "investors" were borrowing the money they "invested", so when the house didn't sell, it's "kind of" a big problem.

3. Forest trolls.

Ok, Forest Trolls aren't to blame. I guess we should leave them out of this, even though they are really secretive and I'm sure they are up to "something".

I asked the question if the Church in America was to blame didn't I?

Remember the "Prayer of Jabez" craze? That thing was HUGE when I was in high school. The local Christian bookstore had "Prayer of Jabez" books, keychains, erasers, mints, bookmarks, EVERYTHING. People LOVED that prayer. I wondered why, so I read it

1 Chronicles 4:9-10:
And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, "Oh that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!" So God granted him what he requested.

I've enlarged the part that jumped out at me as the reason it was so popular.

Have we as Christians come to believe that we "deserve" a nice big house? That it's God's plan for us to be as wealthy as we can "dream" ourselves being? Could that be the reason so many people were so easily deceived into making foolish financial decisions? I don't know. But I wonder.

"Sure we are barely making ends meet with the apartment we rent now, but we are following the steps of Joel Osteen's new book Your Best Life Now, and we just signed up for that Primerica/Avon/Pampered Chef/Shacklee business plan, so we should be able to afford this new mortgage in no time! God has our back! He will lead us into His(our) plan!"

Not Forgotten

2008-06-05T14:07:00.003-04:00

I have not forgotten you, dear readers! I promise to post an awesome diatribe about the sub-prime debacle tonight. I am sure this brings comfort to both of you. In the mean time here is a kitty addicted to drugs.

Most Disturbing Album Covers Ever(Pt. 3)

2008-05-23T10:43:00.005-04:00

Most Disturbing Album Covers Ever(Pt. 2)

2008-05-20T09:20:00.004-04:00

shamelessly taken from Kamp Krusty

Most Disturbing Album Covers Ever

2008-05-19T11:13:00.006-04:00

stolen from Kamp Krusty

Vroom Vroom

2008-05-13T21:30:00.004-04:00

That's me, on my HONDA REBEL 250!

Thanks for letting me buy it Becky! Big ups to ebay motors also. It's a 1985 with 3,800 miles on it. Runs great. Gonna commute to work on this baby in the warm weather. 70mpg. zoom zoom.

Etiquette Lessons

2008-04-26T12:51:00.006-04:00

Thought I would share some Maynard family tips on proper etiquette. Hopefully the less civilized among my blog readers will be inspired to mind their manners at the dinner table.

Tip #1
Always use your hands to eat yogurt. No exceptions.

Tip #2
At breakfast, always finish your left-over milk!

Addendum to Tip #2
Do it with enthusiasm

Tip #3
Children are delicious. Serve fresh.

Home-Schooled Bad Boys

2008-04-25T16:30:00.005-04:00

Ya, that's right, we're tough. You don't wanna step to this. We're talkin' calculator-watch tough. Home-Schooled rough, son.

To say I had a really great experience being home-schooled from the 1st-4th grades would be an astronomical understatement. Looking back, there are many things I enjoyed about school with Mom, Dad, Bryan, and Chris. I had my own desk, and it didn't change every class! School work wrapped up around noon every day. This meant many hours to explore all the interesting ways I could wipe-out spectacularly on my "Trail Master Trick Bike", attempting to impress neighborhood girls.

I can't remember ever having more FUN learning, than when my Dad would explain electrons to me, or my Mom would patiently wait to finally hear me sound out that big word(we were so proud of me!).

Becky and I are planning on home-schooling Rachel and Ari. I'm giddy(warning, girly word) with excitement to share those moments with my kids.

Surprised by Contentment

2008-04-22T13:08:00.015-04:00

I was running today, nearing the end, and all of a sudden it hit me. This moment is enough. If this is all God has given me I will fall down and worship Him, because this is shockingly beautiful.

I wish you could have seen it, could have felt it, smelled it. Three little clouds were happily lost in the great expanse of bright blue hues. Grass wasn't just green but a myriad of different greens, quite literally millions of colors before my eyes. Warm and energizing, the sun was more felt than seen. The aroma of a charcoal grill wafted by. I was tired and it felt so good to be tired. A good weariness, ya know?

All of this happened in about 5-10 seconds. One minute I was running, enjoying the run like I usually do, and the next thing I know BAM. I just got completely blind-sided by the utter beauty of the MOMENT. The real beauty of that moment will never be seen again. The sky, grass, and trees were awesome, but what gets me saying "this is enough God, you have given so much" is this: it was a singular performance, a one-night-only gig by the greatest artist in the universe for a solo audience. For me. The resulting emotion was total contentment, overwhelming gratitude, the kind of feeling that is usually reserved for special moments with my wife or daughter.

Maybe this is what Paul was talking about when he said "be not drunk with wine, be drunk with the Holy Spirit". Cuzz man was it a rush. Wish I could make that kind of awareness and contentment last. I know it's available to me, but darned if I didn't lose it almost as fast as it came. But it did come.

Thanks God.

Goodbye 10 minutes of my life

2008-04-21T17:40:00.004-04:00

i just made a poster. You like?

You can make one too

Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name?

2008-04-20T13:35:00.007-04:00

Story behind this photo can be found here

A lot of people in my neighborhood are suffering and in great need. Do I care, you might ask. What an offensive thing to ask! The nerve! I'm not some monster! OF COURSE I care! I'm a Christian aren't I!? Geez.

Since you insist on giving me the third degree, I will list all the totally awesome things I personally do on a consistent basis, to aid these people in their troubles. Here they are in no particular order!

1. Pray

2. ummmmm, well prayer is really helpful you know

Maniacal Laughter Dep't

2008-04-18T14:58:00.016-04:00

I am a huge fan of "Letters From Kamp Krusty", a blog you can link to through my side bar over yonder. Here's an example of why I am so enamored.

Just Months Remaining to Put Finishing Touches on Our Theocracy!

Well, here we are, fellow Christian soldiers!

Just nine months or so left to finish the BPFEBC (Big Project to Force Everyone to Become Christians).

It's no wonder there's been so much concern about our nefarious aims, so many books sold, so many hyper-concerned bloggers, so much "THEOCRACY!" alarm. They caught on to us early, but we marched ahead, and our continuing dream of yet another Christian theocracy on the planet is nearly complete! (Increasing the current total to 1!)

Yes, George W. Bush has led the way, of course, with his rabid United Methodism. Sadly, while many on the left openly worried that he would atmept to usher in the Second Coming of Christ through initiating Armageddon, he hasn't followed through on this yet. But we still have several months left.

We can still get this done, friends! Don't worry: It can still be the end of the world.

We've pushed many bills to sentence women for having abortions (there almost aren't any abortions anymore, if you don't count the million-plus per year) and we've cheered the White House's executive order to imprison all homosexuals.

Even better: Overt, senseless displays of sexuality have been completely erased from our culture. Pornography is gone. We've returned television to its puritan roots, especially Bravo, per our collective plan, handed to us by the late Jerry Falwell, from whom we all took orders.

If you're like me, you don't miss a gathering of the secretive Take Over America Network secret neighborhood secret meetings of secrecy. And you get excited, hearing about renewed efforts to spy on our neighbors, and make sure no one's gambling or drinking alcohol. You thrill to stories of big victories, like when that bill passed to force everyone to go to church.

Still, there's work to be done. There remain a few books we haven't burned. And there's word some of us continue to read them. There remain a couple children who haven't pledged allegiance to our Holy Scriptures, even under pain of imprisonment. And, obvously, there are still a few women and minorities to suppress at all costs. That's what we do, but we need to improve.

Our enemies' suspicions are well-founded. They've caught on. But they cannot undo the damage we inflicted -- unprecedented stuff! -- like when John Ashcroft had an optional Bible study in his office. It sent them a chill, and for good reason. Our next step: MANDATORY Bible studies in John Ashcroft's office, wherever it is now, for EVERYONE.

We've reversed centuries of elastic interpretation of "marriage" and tried to make it for a man and a woman. No wonder people say they now can't recognize this country anymore!

We remain solidly in lock-step, none of us questioning the invasion of Iraq, no one criticizing the President's profligate spending, just lining up our uneducated, easily-led selves to do his bidding. We all appreciate Mr. Bush's "evangelical zeal", as he continues to use every speech to call everyone to repentance and holiness.

Our enemies' nightmares have come true, and our diabolical, anti-constitutional work is almost complete! Furthermore, Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

Awesomeness Defined

2008-03-26T08:52:00.002-04:00

iRan

2008-03-24T13:56:00.002-04:00

i ran today

it was hard

i was weak

i ran today

and as i ached

i wondered if any

of my precious accomplishments

were my own

God is doin a new thang

2008-03-20T21:01:00.007-04:00

Introducing, for the first time in cyberspace...

Timothy Ari Maynard

Basically, from this picture you can already tell he is a gentleman and a scholar. If it is hard for you to see these traits from just a picture try this exercise: Open your eyes.

Due date is July 2nd. Becky decided she should be the one to carry him around, since she was bored and looking for something to do.

I experience unadulterated joy EACH time I look at this picture of Ari, it's hard to understand and impossible to deny that something amazing and full of mysterious wonder is happening in Becky's womb, and in my soul. God is creating new life in a very tangible way, by forming Ari, but the life doesn't stop there. There is fresh activity in my soul. I can feel God etching love and dedication onto the clay of my heart, forming the relationship with my son already.

What an artist He is, to create something so beautiful as love.

Office Frustration

2008-03-20T09:28:00.003-04:00

The number 1 on my phone has been vexing me for over a year now.

It's not dysfunctional to the point of being completely useless, but I have to cross my fingers, shake a voodoo stick, and press it literally 5-8 times to get it to work.

A distributor of ours called today and left me his phone number to reach him back. His extension?

111

grrrrrrr

sleep

2008-03-20T02:21:00.004-04:00

Can't sleep. Fell asleep at 8 and woke up at 10:30. Waiting for the tylenol pm to kick in. Hey i have a blog. How about that. I've got to stop reading other peoples blogs, they make mine look lame. Maybe i could find some people who have lamer blogs than mine and read theirs.

This post brought to you by the makers of Tylenol Cold NightTime.

Getting Natural

2007-09-05T15:14:00.001-04:00

Spent some quality time on the old internet this Labor Day weekend. My beautiful wife Becky has been reminding me about the need to plan a vacation for our 5 year anniversary. She is so good at being organized and reminding me about stuff like this. I tend to put off the planning until it is too late(procrastinate much?).

So there we were, typing things into Google like "anniversary vacation ideas" and browsing the Yahoo travel section. With so many places and activities to choose from it's hard to know where to start, and there's a ton of pressure(at least that's how I feel), when planning something like a 5yr anniversary, to make it special, memorable, romantic, and fun(and cheap of course).

To help narrow our options down, we decided we both love nature, especially nature we haven't really seen before, like big mountains, grand canyons, big oceans, and just weird/cool ecosystems. Also, we wanted to be active, since we both love a good swashbuckling adventure. That's right "swashbuckling", we be a merry crew. We thought about the Grand Canyon, but I'm pretty much a big baby when it comes to heights(I don't want to look over the edge honey, I can see it from the car just fine!).

We looked at doing some white water rafting in Oregon. I've been rafting in West Virgina when I was 16, it was fun. But it didn't seem exactly what we were looking for, the toughest rapids were only level 3(kinda wimpy for studs like us) at the few places we called, and we wanted something a little more nature experiential. That's right "experiential", we are sooo emo.

Then, as if the Almighty himself had stretched out his hand and directed our web browser, we found it! It has romance(read alcohol, haha j/k), adventure, nature, and it won't destroy our savings!

I won't keep you guessing any longer, although it has been fun prattling on about where we're NOT going. We're going to South Carolina for a couples getaway of kayaking, hiking, and historic sight seeing, October 4-7!

We couldn't be more excited, I really think this is God's plan for us. Sounds silly to me, to be seeing God's hand at work in our vacation planning, but oh well, I see it anyway. I have a peace about our choice and a solid belief that it's going to be an awesome, memorable trip that strengthens and recharges our love for each other and our love for our creator and his beautiful creation, and what could be more God inspired than that peace and expectation? Not so silly seeing God in my vacation planning after all.

There are trees on the blackwater kayaking trip that are 1,000 years old!

On the saltwater kayaking trip people see all kinds of rare birds, Dolphins, Alligators and maybe Loggerhead Seaturtles!

Right to Life

2007-08-31T13:41:00.001-04:00

Dr. Ron Paul dropping some knowledge about abortion and our nation's struggle to value life and liberty.

Cakes

2007-08-25T10:47:00.000-04:00

My wife Becky

is making a cake this morning. Not just any cake. a three layer monster for our daughter rachel's first birthday. The party is tomorrow. I'm rushed as I type this, because we have a wedding to leave for in 5 minutes. I am sure they will have a fancy cake there too. What is it about special occasions and cake? Maybe it helps to remind me to luxuriate in these precious moments that pass by so fast if I let them. I can let down my guard, get over myself, celebrate the amazing people in my life, and enjoy some cake.

So HAPPY 1st B-DAY Rachel! You're the best!

and Congratulations to a great man of God, Jay Horsfall, on finally finding a woman that made him say "I do".

Can you believe Jay got Bride to play the reception? That's pretty much the coolest band that ever rocked a reception, hands down!